My Cupid Profile
This is the profile I submitted in 2005 on stupid.com -
No, I did not take it very seriously.... I got so sick of meeting women, I could
not take much of anything seriously anymore....
About me...
I am drama-free, drug-free, disease-free, disco-free (still recovering though), duck-free, MSG-free, sugar-free, low-fat, low-sodium, JUST ONE CALORIE etc...
I like taking my dog for walks or sometimes drags in parks.
I like driving my car - WEEEEEE!!!.
I like letting my dog drive my car - WEEEE!!!
I exercise every dog-gone day
I watch my Dog exercise every me-gone day!
I like to play WITH the piano and play WITH the guitar.
I like to sketch/oil-paint et al...
I like meeting people.
I eat hot coal.
I punch my chest and it disappear to the cloud.
I blow bubbles when I chew gum when I drive cab.
My EX-WIFE wants all women to know that I am a:
Schizophrenic, Demonized Psycho-(bee word)
I'm looking for...
A woman who does not treat me like a piece of meat.
A woman who will respect me for my mind.
A woman who does not pretend to be interested in what I am saying while they secretly undress me with their eyes.
A woman who understands that I am not the kind of guy who gives it up on the first date.
A woman who understands that I cannot be purchased as a pleasure toy simply by buying me a dinner at a fancy restaurant.
I'm not that kind of GUY!!!
The most important thing in my life is...
ME - yeah, that's right - MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
YA GOT THAT!!!
GOOD!!!!!!
I spend my free time...
Petting my dog, editing my profile and drinking coffee!!!!!
YES!!!!!!
About my job...
LESBO'S LESBO'S LESBO'S EVERYWHERE!!!!
They - 're in my HAIR!!!!!
GET EM OFF ME!
GET EM OFF ME!
GET EM OFF!!!!!!
How I spent my last vacation...
Getting yelled at by a woman who is now my EX-WIFE!!!!
HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
My favorite dish or recipe...
Blackened Alaskan Cod with green-beans, and vegetarian fried rice.
My last good read...
Metal Knives and Toasters - the I can do it Guide! - Weird Al.
Running with Scissors - New Ways to Have fun. - Weird Al.
OW - My EYE! - Jean Claude Amant
Stop Touching me There - Spitanny Brears.
How to be a Bigger Trashy Tramp - Haris Pilton.
My top 3 favorite movies and why you should see them...
Wizard of Oz
Flash Gordon
Casino
How would I get somebody to watch them?
I would lock them in a closet until they BEGGED me to watch them!!!
YESSS!!!
T - hat's what my grandparents did to me!!!!
Works like a charm!
The top 5 things I can't live without...
My brain, my "stop undressing me with your eyes" good-looks, my sense of humor, My new-founded beard, and the orb.
My personal soundtrack...
"Songs that heterosexual men shouldn't like, but often do"
That is my favorite CD - It was advertised at 3:00 in the morning on SNCAT
My motto...
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!
What my best friend would say about me...
Oh NO, is he here?
Lets get outta here if he is!
Man that guy is strange!!!
My most prominent memory...
This time, my dad was driving me and my friends to the movies, and I was sticking my head out the window, and my dad shouted
"RICH!! Get your head back in the car!!!"
My friends kept encouraging me to stick my head out the window, so I did.
My Dad shouted again, "RICH!!! GET YOUR HEAD BACK IN THE CAR!!!"
Then, all of the sudden, my head hit a dogs head that was sticking out a car window from a car travelling in the opposite direction.
That really hurt!!
If I could be anywhere right now, I would be...
IN YOUR FACE!
On my coffee table you will find...
My pocket, the ORB, 2 quarters, a penny, a button, a book of matches, and a thinble full of SAAKI!
BONG!!!!!
Last Saturday night I...
Was rudely insulted by some ding-a-ling at a charity event (I volunteered my time to help recovering drug-addicts).
I got right in her face, "YOU GOT A PROBLEM BLONDIE?!!!"
She replied, "sorry, I was so busy undressing you with my eyes that I forgot you were a person with feelings".
I hate it when that happens.
I once made someone laugh by...
Nobody has ever laughed with me, only at me.
Sorry babe!
Can't help ya out here.
If I could be on any reality TV show, I would be on...
I would make my own reality TV show - I'd call it the "NUT HOUSE"
